What Marriage Means

Marriage is the
relationship
between a man
and a woman who
have made a
legal agreement
to live together.

When a man and woman marry,
they become husband and wife.
Marriage is also an important
religious ceremony in many of
the world's religions.

In India and many other countries,
most marriages are arranged by parents'
deciding whom their children will marry.
But in Western countries, including the
United States and Canada, nearly everyone
makes his or her own decision about whom
and when to marry.

Most couples decide to marry because
they love each other and want
to spend the rest of their
lives together.

A man and woman who marry usually hope
to share a special sexual relationship
and a permanent romantic attraction.
But each hopes the other will always
be a close friend as well. Each also
expects the other to help with many problems
and to share certain responsibilities.
These responsibilities include earning a living,
budgeting money, paying bills, preparing meals,
and taking care of a home.

In the United States, about 21/2 million couples
marry each year. However, many people choose
never to marry. Some people who remain single
may not find a mate with whom they want to share
their life. Others may not want the many
responsibilities required of a successful marriage.
Still others prefer to stay unmarried because they
enjoy their independence.

Most couples who marry plan to have children and to
raise them together. A husband and wife are required
by law to protect and care for their children.
Marriage thus serves as the basis of family life.

Weddings and Parties with the Pioneers

The pioneers
brightened
life on the
frontier
with parties
and other
get-togethers.
They mixed
work with
fun and sports
whenever possible.

In autumn, they held cornhusking
contests and nut-gathering parties.

In spring, they assembled in maple groves
to make sugar and syrup. The women often
got together for quilting parties.
The quilts were much in demand as bedcovers.

The settlers always enjoyed a house-raising.
The men stopped working on the house now and
then to run races or to hold wrestling bouts
or shooting contests. After the job was finished,
everyone celebrated with a lively feast.
The women prepared plenty of food, and after eating,
the settlers sat around telling stories. As a rule,
someone brought along a fiddle, and dancing and
singing went on until late in the night.

A wedding was a special time of fun and celebration.
The pioneers liked to play tricks on a couple about
to be married. Sometimes the women "kidnapped" the
bride while the men rode off with the groom.
Of course, both managed to escape in time to be married.
During the couple's wedding night, some guests, usually
young men and boys, gathered outside the newlyweds' home.
There, the assembled group shouted, banged on pans, and
otherwise created great noise in a tradition called a
charivari (pronounced shihv uh REE).

A wedding custom called charivari is widespread in various
European societies. On the wedding night, friends of the
bride and groom provide a noisy serenade by banging on pots
and pans outside the couple's bedroom. The desire to avoid
charivari led to the practice of leaving on a honeymoon
immediately after a wedding.

Attitudes About Marriage.

Almost every society
has certain traditional
ideas about marriage.
For example, most
societies expect men
and women to marry.
In addition,
most cultures
have traditions about
the role and the main
duties of a husband
and a wife.
Traditionally, the husband is expected
to earn a living, and the wife is expected
to manage the household and raise children.

Many Americans disregard traditional marriage patterns.
For example, a large number of married couples share
responsibilities that have been traditionally handled by
either the husband or the wife. An increasing number of
married women have paying jobs and help support their
families financially. In 1940, about 15 percent of all
married women earned money.

In the early 1990's, about 60 percent held a full- or
part-time job. More and more husbands share responsibilities
traditionally handled by women, such as cooking, doing
housework, and caring for the children.

On the average, men and women stay single longer than they
once did. In 1950, men married at an average age of 23, and
women married at an average age of 20. By the mid-1990's,
the average marriage age was about 26 for men and about
age 24 for women.

Weddings Become Marriages

Weddings will become
a marriage.

Getting Marrried should be
about the Marriage and not
about the Wedding.

So many Brides get caught up
in planning a perfect Wedding,
they don’t think about the
“Ever After”.

I am a firm believer in Marriage
and “Happily Ever After”.

That doesn’t mean that everything in your life after your Wedding
will always be perfect, but if your expectations aren’t unrealistic
you can have a very happy life together.

When you go through the good times, it is so wonderful to have someone
to share and enjoy those times with, and when times are tough, you have
someone by your side to help you, and you can work through them together.

The secret is, not having any secrets from each other.

That doesn’t mean that you need to report to each other on every little
detail of your life, but that you always share your feelings and opinions
with each other.

You can agree to disagree, but at least you are talking.

Pick your battles carefully, everything is not worth fighting about.

Starting with the day you say “I Do” to each other, work together as a unit
and you can accomplish so much more in life.

Don’t try to change each other, just accept each others faults and focus on
your strengths.

Work to bring out the best in your partner, and allow them to bring out the
best in you as well.

Always make time for each other, and remember why you fell in love, and you
should stay in love for the rest of your lives!

By Debbie Christensen