Marriage In Other Cultures

In most countries,
one man marries
one woman, and they
stay married unless
one of them dies or
they are divorced.
This system of marriage
is called monogamy.

Some societies permit polygamy, in which a
man has more than one wife, or a woman has
more than one husband. The marriage of a man to more
than one woman is called polygyny and is practiced
by many African and Middle Eastern peoples.
Islamic law permits a man to have as many as four wives.
Some societies practice polyandry, the marriage of a
woman to more than one man.

In certain cultures, marriage involves a gift from the
family of the bride or groom to the other's family.
In many societies, for example, the bride's family gives
money or property to the groom or his family.
Such a gift is called a dowry. In some cases, the dowry
is given to the bride so that she and her husband may
benefit from it. In other cultures, the groom and his
family present gifts to the family of the bride.
This offering is called a bride price.

Some societies require a person to marry someone who belongs
to his or her own tribe or group. This custom is called endogamy.
In other places, an individual must follow the rules of exogamy
and marry a person from another tribe or village. The most common
rule of exogamy requires a man or woman to marry someone outside
his or her own family.

Each culture has its own rules about which family members a person
is forbidden to marry. However, most societies forbid incest, which
is marriage or sexual relations between certain close relatives.
In nearly all cultures, such relatives include a parent and child or
a brother and sister.

Back to school time Weddings

Well, it’s
back-to-school
time for a good
part of the
nation.
Today has been
described as
“The most wonderful
day of the year”,
by some parents.
Back-to-school
means back to business
as usual for most people.
This is the time to start
working towards any goals you want
to achieve before the end of the year,
and begin thinking about the holidays.
Wedding season used to end at Labor day,
but now it extends well into November.
In fact, October is usually the second,
or third busiest month for Weddings.
The weather is much cooler, and some
facilities consider October their off
season, so the prices will be lower than
in the summer months.
The weather is always a consideration when
planning your Wedding.
Enjoy this back-to-school night, or
just a Wednesday night with your family,
and check back next week for another blog
about life before and after your Wedding!

What Marriage Means

Marriage is the
relationship
between a man
and a woman who
have made a
legal agreement
to live together.

When a man and woman marry,
they become husband and wife.
Marriage is also an important
religious ceremony in many of
the world's religions.

In India and many other countries,
most marriages are arranged by parents'
deciding whom their children will marry.
But in Western countries, including the
United States and Canada, nearly everyone
makes his or her own decision about whom
and when to marry.

Most couples decide to marry because
they love each other and want
to spend the rest of their
lives together.

A man and woman who marry usually hope
to share a special sexual relationship
and a permanent romantic attraction.
But each hopes the other will always
be a close friend as well. Each also
expects the other to help with many problems
and to share certain responsibilities.
These responsibilities include earning a living,
budgeting money, paying bills, preparing meals,
and taking care of a home.

In the United States, about 21/2 million couples
marry each year. However, many people choose
never to marry. Some people who remain single
may not find a mate with whom they want to share
their life. Others may not want the many
responsibilities required of a successful marriage.
Still others prefer to stay unmarried because they
enjoy their independence.

Most couples who marry plan to have children and to
raise them together. A husband and wife are required
by law to protect and care for their children.
Marriage thus serves as the basis of family life.

Weddings and Parties with the Pioneers

The pioneers
brightened
life on the
frontier
with parties
and other
get-togethers.
They mixed
work with
fun and sports
whenever possible.

In autumn, they held cornhusking
contests and nut-gathering parties.

In spring, they assembled in maple groves
to make sugar and syrup. The women often
got together for quilting parties.
The quilts were much in demand as bedcovers.

The settlers always enjoyed a house-raising.
The men stopped working on the house now and
then to run races or to hold wrestling bouts
or shooting contests. After the job was finished,
everyone celebrated with a lively feast.
The women prepared plenty of food, and after eating,
the settlers sat around telling stories. As a rule,
someone brought along a fiddle, and dancing and
singing went on until late in the night.

A wedding was a special time of fun and celebration.
The pioneers liked to play tricks on a couple about
to be married. Sometimes the women "kidnapped" the
bride while the men rode off with the groom.
Of course, both managed to escape in time to be married.
During the couple's wedding night, some guests, usually
young men and boys, gathered outside the newlyweds' home.
There, the assembled group shouted, banged on pans, and
otherwise created great noise in a tradition called a
charivari (pronounced shihv uh REE).

A wedding custom called charivari is widespread in various
European societies. On the wedding night, friends of the
bride and groom provide a noisy serenade by banging on pots
and pans outside the couple's bedroom. The desire to avoid
charivari led to the practice of leaving on a honeymoon
immediately after a wedding.

Attitudes About Marriage.

Almost every society
has certain traditional
ideas about marriage.
For example, most
societies expect men
and women to marry.
In addition,
most cultures
have traditions about
the role and the main
duties of a husband
and a wife.
Traditionally, the husband is expected
to earn a living, and the wife is expected
to manage the household and raise children.

Many Americans disregard traditional marriage patterns.
For example, a large number of married couples share
responsibilities that have been traditionally handled by
either the husband or the wife. An increasing number of
married women have paying jobs and help support their
families financially. In 1940, about 15 percent of all
married women earned money.

In the early 1990's, about 60 percent held a full- or
part-time job. More and more husbands share responsibilities
traditionally handled by women, such as cooking, doing
housework, and caring for the children.

On the average, men and women stay single longer than they
once did. In 1950, men married at an average age of 23, and
women married at an average age of 20. By the mid-1990's,
the average marriage age was about 26 for men and about
age 24 for women.

Weddings Become Marriages

Weddings will become
a marriage.

Getting Marrried should be
about the Marriage and not
about the Wedding.

So many Brides get caught up
in planning a perfect Wedding,
they don’t think about the
“Ever After”.

I am a firm believer in Marriage
and “Happily Ever After”.

That doesn’t mean that everything in your life after your Wedding
will always be perfect, but if your expectations aren’t unrealistic
you can have a very happy life together.

When you go through the good times, it is so wonderful to have someone
to share and enjoy those times with, and when times are tough, you have
someone by your side to help you, and you can work through them together.

The secret is, not having any secrets from each other.

That doesn’t mean that you need to report to each other on every little
detail of your life, but that you always share your feelings and opinions
with each other.

You can agree to disagree, but at least you are talking.

Pick your battles carefully, everything is not worth fighting about.

Starting with the day you say “I Do” to each other, work together as a unit
and you can accomplish so much more in life.

Don’t try to change each other, just accept each others faults and focus on
your strengths.

Work to bring out the best in your partner, and allow them to bring out the
best in you as well.

Always make time for each other, and remember why you fell in love, and you
should stay in love for the rest of your lives!

By Debbie Christensen

Wedding Traditions

Many couples prefer a traditional
religious ceremony, though some
people depart from custom.
Some even write their own wedding
service.
A traditional marriage
ceremony begins with the bridesmaids
and ushers walking slowly down a
center aisle to the altar.
They stand on each side of the altar
throughout the ceremony. The groom
enters and waits for the bride at the altar. The bride then
walks down the aisle with her father, another male relative,
or a family friend. She wears a white dress and veil and carries
a bouquet. At the altar, the bride and groom exchange marriage
vows and accept each other as husband and wife. The groom puts a
wedding ring on the ring finger of the bride's left hand, and the
bride may also give the groom a ring. After the ceremony, the bride
and groom kiss and then leave down the main aisle.

People of many backgrounds follow the traditional wedding ceremony,
but certain religious groups add their own features to it. For example,
different Protestant groups have their own versions of the ceremony.
Many Roman Catholic weddings take place during a Mass, and the bride and
groom receive Holy Communion.

Most Jewish weddings are held under a special canopy that represents
the couple's future home. At the end of the ceremony, an empty glass
or other breakable object is placed on the floor and the groom breaks
it with his foot. This act symbolizes the destruction of the ancient
Jewish Temple in Jerusalem and reminds the couple that a marriage can
also break if it is not protected.

Mormon weddings are held privately in Mormon temples. Only church
members in good standing can attend these ceremonies. Mormons believe
that marriage and family life continue after death.

A Quaker man and woman marry at a public gathering where they
declare their commitment to each other. Quakers believe that
God makes a couple husband
and wife, and so a minister or other official is not required.

Many wedding customs have been popular since ancient times.
For example, Roman brides probably wore veils more than 2,000
years ago. Bridal veils became popular in the United Kingdom
and the New World during the late 1700's.
The custom of giving a wedding ring dates back to the ancient
Romans.
The roundness of the ring probably represents eternity, and
the presentation of wedding rings symbolizes that the man and
woman are united forever. Wearing the wedding ring on the ring
finger of the left hand is another old custom.
People once thought that a vein or nerve ran directly from this
finger to the heart. An old superstition says that a bride can
ensure good luck by wearing "something old, something new,
something borrowed, and something blue."
Another superstition is that it is bad luck for a bride and groom
to see each other before the ceremony on their wedding day.

After many weddings, the guests throw rice at the bride and groom
as a wish for children and good fortune. Rice was once a symbol
of fertility, happiness, and long life. The bride may toss her
bouquet to the unmarried female guests.
The woman who catches the flowers will supposedly be the next to
marry. This custom probably started in France in the 1300's.
The bride may also throw her garter to the unmarried men.
The man who catches it will supposedly be the next male to marry.